But they also report infidelity as one of the most difficult issues to work with when it comes to rebuilding a relationship. These include trust and the belief that the partner is there to provide love and security rather than inflict hurt. Most relationship therapists suggest issues around infidelity can be improved through therapy. Ultimately, relationships serve the function of meeting our attachment needs of love, comfort and security. Some find people who lack traits such as agreeableness and conscientiousness are more likely to be sexually promiscuous, as are those higher in neurotic and narcissistic traits. Not only do we grieve the loss of the relationship no matter how good or bad , but we grieve over whether we will find another who will fulfil our needs.
These include trust and the belief that the partner is there to provide love and security rather than inflict hurt. But the secret only perpetuates the betrayal. Those low on these measures appear more likely to have an affair. Both partners can experience mental health issues following the revelation of an affair. Without the necessary skills to heal the issues, a partner may engage in an affair as an ill-equipped way of attempting to have their needs fulfilled — whether these be for intimacy, to feel valued, to experience more sex, and so on. So, the straying partner views an alternative relationship as a better way to meet these needs than their existing relationship. If the couple decides to end the relationship and are still in therapy, the therapist can help them work through their decision in a way that minimises feelings of hurt. The therapist can help the couple acknowledge the areas of the relationship in which trust has already been rebuilt. Infidelity highlights the potential fragility of our closest and most important of relationships. One of the most well researched methods of helping a couple mend these issues involves addressing the initial impact of the affair, developing a shared understanding of the context of the affair, forgiveness, and moving on. Choosing to stay or go Overall, therapy seems to work for about two-thirds of couples who have experienced infidelity. There can also be an increase in emotional and physical violence within the couple. Both men and women cheat. If a couple decides to stay together, they must identify areas of improvement and commit to working on them. If the relationship is characterised by many unresolved conflicts, hostility, and a lack of concern for one another, it may be best to end it. The period of separation distress varies from person to person. Most relationship therapists suggest issues around infidelity can be improved through therapy. We believe a romantic partner is there to provide us with love, comfort and security. For instance, infidelity is rarely just about sex. Who has affairs, and why? But if therapy works for two thirds of couples, it leaves another one third who experience no improvement. Studies into why people cheat are many and varied. Some find people who lack traits such as agreeableness and conscientiousness are more likely to be sexually promiscuous, as are those higher in neurotic and narcissistic traits. People need to invest time and energy into their relationships. While some couples report additional reasons, which can include a greater desire for sex, the majority speak to issues that reside either within the couple or outside the relationship. However, this rate increases to around a third of couples when you include emotional infidelity.
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