I was looking for representation and was finding very little so we decided to write a song about it. But this conversation largely overrode feminine-presenting queer people — there are some famous exceptions, most notably Bowie and Prince, but for the most part desirability is still all too often equated with masculinity. People of colour were more or less invisible, leading Mykki Blanco to last year create the sarcastic — but depressingly accurate — GayMediaSoWhite hashtag. Their cover stars are portrayed as aspirational and suited-and-booted. With nothing more than a twinkle in his eye and a Nasty Pig jockstrap on his rear, the star succeeded in completely distorting stereotypes of male desirability. Love between femmes is overlooked, both in the clueless straight world and within queer communities. The Collective Tarot and the crystals and potions come out.
I primarily date other femmes and my partner is a femme. The Collective Tarot and the crystals and potions come out. Their cover stars are portrayed as aspirational and suited-and-booted. Grab your crystal necklace and your darkest red lipstick and see for yourself! Some articles have even persuasively argued that queer apps can have negative mental health effects. The place we most often see femme on femme desire is mainstream lesbian porn, whose primary target audience is straight men. And, of course, lots and lots of glitter and red lipstick. It opens with a shot of four femme witches invoking a femme-on-femme spell over a bubbling cauldron, zooming in on their pretty, painted nails. The last few weeks have proven that Alexander embodies this ethos: Beyond being a sexy and fun queer video with a hot cast, celebrating femme on femme desire through a queer lens is important. The former has long been a contentious term, but many — mostly young — LGBTQ people have claimed it either as a reclamation of a stinging slur or as a term synonymous with disruption. In the past, these images have always been, unsurprisingly, rooted in the stereotypical ideals of masculinity. We get gorgeous fat femmes in skimpy black lingerie, femmes of different abilities, femmes of color, and femmes kissing and teasing and seducing femmes. To be truly queer means to fuck with mainstream perceptions, toy with archaic gender norms and back up your actions with genuinely progressive politics. Of course, neither is true. Love between femmes is overlooked, both in the clueless straight world and within queer communities. Femme on femme to me means romancing, dating, sleeping with, approaching, and generally centering femmes in your life. And the disco witch sex coven escalates into a dance orgy and a glitter bondage cupcake force-feeding ritual. For gay men in particular, various articles and documentaries have argued that we feel particular pressure to live up to extremely rigid beauty standards. Radical feminists misunderstand femme gender expression as buying into the heteropatriarchy. That formula is only just starting to loosen, largely due to changing societal attitudes and the realisation that queer people need more than just semi-nude spreads. We often ridicule these actors, with their long nails and long hair, as though such a pairing is completely inconceivable in real life. You know, for whenever that is needed again, which in the queer world we live in, might be tomorrow or next Friday. Femme identity is often positioned as dichotomous to butch identity, as though femme gender expression and desire only has meaning in relation to masculine gender expression. But this conversation largely overrode feminine-presenting queer people — there are some famous exceptions, most notably Bowie and Prince, but for the most part desirability is still all too often equated with masculinity. Enter your devastatingly sexy femme daddy, Pizza Cupcake. But femme on femme attraction is rarely discussed in a queer context.
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